I am not super mom, I am more of a sidekick. I have been called supermom too many times. It has to stop, it simply isn’t true. There is nothing super or special about me. My kids, however, everything about them is special. From the baby Zach who has autism to the oldest C who fights bipolar disorder and crohn’s. I am here to support and guide them. I never claim credit for their accomplishments, they are the heroes not me.
Even the 3 kids in the middle who don’t have quite as many medical conditions are just as much superheroes. I don’t talk about them often, because it makes them uncomfortable but sometimes I just have to break that rule. I hope they understand what they mean to me.
Zach has autism, he lives in a world that will never understand him. He has been fighting for his voice for the last 13 years. Only now is he able to get what he needs and sometimes even share how he is feeling. Autism limits his voice, it also has made it hard for him to find a comfortable place in the world. Along with his autism has come a sensory processing disorder. This he has learned to control under his own power, he uses noise canceling headphones, which we decided to try after one too many times of him yelling “TOO LOUD”, sunglasses to shield him because he squints in bright lights. Blankets to help protect him from all the sounds, smells and even the breezes that plague him all the time. He shows me what clothes will work for him by discarding anything that bugs him and searching for certain items, allowing me to know what works and what doesn’t. Telling me he loves me by sitting close when he knows I am sad, or sick. Even without the ability to talk he found ways to tell me what he wants and needs. Some very creative ways (**** LINK FREAKING RAIN***) I write about Zach often. He is my hero, and I will always be his sidekick.
The one I call younger teen (YT), has shared a bedroom with Zach (the baby) for the last 11 years. He has been there through every sleepless night, often been there when Zach would get out of bed to explore. He has helped his baby brother with a million things from teeth brushing and dressing to how to play his video games better. He has had more patience than I can dream of. YT has helped redirect when Zach starts to stress and most of all he is the one who would chase Zach in public when I was walking with a cane. Today he washes dishes and helps me with meals often, he has just started to learn to cook and is excited to help (which is saying something for a 17 year old). Even though we have an empty bedroom he was offered a chance to move into his own room, he declined stating “Zach sleeps better when I am with him”. He might make me nuts some days, as all teens make their parents feel, but in my eyes he is a hero!
Older Teen (OT) is also amazing. He has very bad eczema, it make him uncomfortable, often. He still has incredible drive, patience and so much love. If he knows someone he cares for is hurting, he cries along with them. He is so sweet and loving, he has been there through many meltdowns, helped his older brothers when they didn’t feel well enough to help themselves. Taken over and cooked many dinners, washed too many dishes and does the laundry for all of us. Many mornings he has gotten up with Zach, letting me sleep, and when I was too sick to get out of bed he was the one who took over the house while Zach played on his computer next to me. He even took over all of the household stuff when I was in the hospital before we knew I had celiac. He is the 1st person to step up when someone is sick and help them in every way he can. He is one of the most caring people I know, he feels everything deeply and loves more than he will ever admit. I am proud to be his sidekick in life.
M, was the oldest before C joined our family. It had to have been hard on him suddenly having a big brother. He has ADHD, despite that he was so good in school, he worked so hard and would often help me teach his younger brothers. He writes even better than I do too. He watched the younger kids when we were at various doctors’ appointments. He taught OT and YT how to be there for Zach when I was in the hospital fighting for my life. Many days he helped cook and clean when I was so tired from yet another gluten attack or therapy appointment. He has grown up now, moved out and he has a good job and works hard. I am so very proud of the man he has become. He has an amazing life and a wonderful wife. Even though he doesn’t call enough (I taught him that too, sorry Mom). When he does he reminds me how very much I adore him. He has been my hero many, many days.
C, came to me later in his life, he was about 15. He was scared, and didn’t believe in himself, yet he accepted us, and all of our insanity without question. There was no doubt in my mind when he started living with us that he was family.
He was sick, and many of his illness were written off as in his head. However, that wasn’t the case. He has Crohn’s, and because of this he instinctively limited his diet from a very early age> (proving how smart he is!) He also has bipolar disorder, so between the two it is sometimes hard for him to make it through the day. He runs many errands when I can’t, taking things to the post office, running to a shop to get what we need for dinner. Many days he helps with the younger kids, helps them learn and grow. He pushes them to be their best, reminds me often that I am a good mom. I don’t know where I would be without him. I am so lucky he has become part of our family and is just as much a hero as each of his brothers.
Each of my kids are amazing, they all fight their own battles. I am just a sidekick, I get to support them, helping when they fall or get stuck, it is my job to be there when they need me but let them fly every chance they get.
I just get to guide the best I can, help them along. I love them, for who they are. I am lucky enough to see what they give to each other and what they offer the world. They are the Superheroes. I simply get to be their sidekick.
FYI I got everyone’s permission except Zach to post this. Along with hugs from each of them except M who doesn’t live here he just said he loved me too. 3 of them picked the Minion in this picture also. Zach again didn’t want to and M was at work and I couldn’t wait.