My son has autism, yes, I said he has autism, he is autistic I use both, because he has not told me which he prefers. When he does I will refer to him in the manner he prefers, until then he is my son, he is Zach, some days he is grumpy butt. Often he is Zachaboo. He is more than autism. He is 13, he loves to play video games, he loves to help around the house (most days). He has brown hair, brown eyes and a constant smile. If you are sad he is the first one to want to comfort you. While autism prevents him from doing a lot of things, it isn’t all he is.
I am a parent, his parent, I am a wife, mother to 4 other boys. Most of all like him I am a person. Just as he is more than autism, I am more than a mom. Just as my son deserves respect, love and kindness, so do I.
This morning after I got up and took my 1st shower in 4 days I realized how dark the circles were under my eyes. How much grey is showing in my home dyed hair. How very tired I looked. I did something I haven’t done in a while. I put on makeup. I took more than 2 minutes to pick out my clothes, I put my hair back but today I took time to place it, to take care of it. Today I remembered I am more than autism too, I am more than just mom.
In taking time to take care of me for just a few extra minutes it made a huge difference in how tired I felt. It put a smile on my familie’s faces and it made me feel good. My hair is still just as grey and the circles are just as dark. However, my soul feels lighter. A line I keep having pop into my feed on Facebook is “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Don’t get me wrong as hard as being a special needs parent is it is also rewarding. However having a child who is essentially a toddler for so many years, can be taxing. I love him dearly, and wouldn’t trade one moment my time as his parent for anything. Yes, I would love to sleep more, and soundly now and then. I would love to be able to go to a salon and have my hair done, rather than doing it myself. I would love to be able to stand in a shower, or take a long hot bath now and then. However, he is worth it, but it is just not that easy. Slowly he grows and takes better care of himself, so I know one day it will happen. Until then I am going to try and take time where I can and who knows, today a little makeup, tomorrow, maybe I will wear a dress. Who am I kidding that would mean I had to shave my legs. 😉
This weeks comic.