Minion Monday- The why questions.
As a parent why questions are a part of life. “Mom, Why do we have to sit at the table and eat?” “Why do we have to wear pants?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Why is the dog doing that to Uncle Fred’s leg?” Some are easy to answer some make you want to run (like the leg one). All of them mean something. Maybe they mean your kid is paying attention to the world around them or maybe they hear the curse words Uncle Fred is spewing like a sailor and want to know why. I love the why questions, well most of them.
With my first child, the why stage came with wonder and excitement. Child two had me stocking up on headache meds, three and four were almost as bad but by then, child one started helping answer. Then came Zach.
Zach has not hit the why stage, yet. At 13 he has never asked me why we do this or that, never asked me why I love him, or why he is different. Never asked why he has autism and his brothers don’t. To be clear, I don’t fear the word autism. I never use it as an excuse either. Zach knows, his brothers know, the neighbors know, everyone knows. Zach is accepted and loved, even if he never asks why. I hope he never feels the need to question it because I don’t have an answer, I doubt I ever will either.
However, I wish he could. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for him. If he wants to know something he can’t ask, he might be able to look it up but I have never seen him try. I can teach him, but I can’t see inside his head and figure out what he hopes, dreams or why he does things one way or another. I can only guess. As he slowly gains words as well as understanding their meaning, I am the one asking the why questions. Like, “Zach, Why did you take your pants off again?”. Sometimes I get answers like “Sorry” or “All done” but I still hold hope that one day he will ask me why he wears pants, shoes, or why the dog is doing that to Uncle Fred. Until then I will keep asking him why and trying to understand his answers. Actually we can skip the dog questions…Today I am asking why I can’t have a cup of coffee until it is already cold, twice.
Have a great Monday!
fyi- no fish, dogs or uncles were harmed in the making if this post. In fact, we don’t have an uncle Fred (they have other names) or a dog, but I want one (the dog not the uncle).