The eye of the storm
I am the eye of the storm
The calm after your rage
I slowly find my way
Through tears, anger and screams
I wrap you in my arms and calm your fears
Take away the anger
Dry the tears
Whisper in response to your screams
Stilling the hurricane of pain
Helping you find breath
Showing you calm
Silencing the storm
Holding the storm at bay
-Dawn Blum 2016
Lately, Zach has been fighting. I am not sure if it is rage, anger, change, puberty, the weather or the full moon. It could be because I have been sick, or maybe he is on the verge of another jump in learning or maybe fighting a regression. This happens from time to time. He gets stressed, or frustrated and suddenly I live with a mini version of Bruce Banner, wondering what will set off the rage this time.
Will today bring out the brilliant Bruce or unmanageable Hulk? This is part of his life, he goes through days or weeks like this. I want nothing more than to talk to him, to get into his head and figure out what’s bothering him.
However, the words are not there yet. He can’t tell me what’s going on. I can’t soothe his fears, I can just hold him in my arms and whisper away the screams. As he grows I learn more, he is better able to speak. The more I think he was able to understand me, and I know I can understand him better. Someday it will happen, I have faith. We have fought this fight all of his life. It is a fight worth fighting, he is worth fighting for, and with. Slowly he is finding his voice, more and more words surface all the time. Someday he will be able to tell me why he feels like he does, not today, but someday. Until then I will keep trying to calm his storms, keep the hulk at bay and most of all I will keep whispering “I love you” in his ear.
No matter what, he knows he is loved. To me, that is enough.