Minion Monday – Say something

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There is a popular song, Say Something. The first time I heard it I ugly cried. Which sucked because I was driving at the time. We were on our way to speech class. Instantly my mind took this to my son and his verbal differences. How he has fought for words. Some days he did great, others, not so much.There were many times when the words didn’t come, when we were both lost and frustrated. I have talked for him, been his voice when he couldn’t. I screwed up, owned up and keep trying. Often I cried and just begged him to just tell me what he needs.


Some days though, he won’t shut up, he either scripts all day or is having a conversation with a youtube video. Though, those events often have a lack of understandable words. When this happens, I try and engage him, more often than not he wants nothing to do with me. Those days suck too, because I want so badly to understand what he is thinking, what those words mean.

Having a non-verbal / minimally verbal child is hard. Harder than I ever thought. At first I made the same mistake many people make, I assumed because he couldn’t talk to me he couldn’t understand me. Boy, was that wrong. He heard me, he understood every word. Little by little over time he showed me just how much he heard. How capable his is. How even without words, he is brilliant.
As I look back I think part of his bolting, his wanting to run away, during this time was that he didn’t feel like he was accepted. He was often ignored when he tried to communicate because simply I wasn’t smart enough to figure out he was communicating at first. I feel like I should have caught it sooner,  there were too many times when he was left out and we didn’t talk directly to him nearly as much as we should have.

I was so stupid!

When I realized how much he understood, started including him in more things, playing with him more, listening more. , he stopped wanting to get away so much, now I rarely worry he will bolt. He plays games with us, and when he wants something he knows he can find a way to get it. He is wonderfully creative with his ways of asking. While he wasn’t interested in using a speech device, he will google something and send me a link. He will find a video, and queue it to the part he wants me to hear and put the headphones on me so I know exactly what he wants. He always finds a way to say what he wants, to get what he needs and to share who he is.

He and his lack of voice have given me so much, a deeper understanding of the world. He has shown me that my mind was much more narrow than I thought. Slowly, he is teaching me, I am stubborn but want to learn. The days I want to give up are less and less as time goes on. Maybe, there is hope for me yet.  



The lyrics –

Say something, I’m giving up on you

I’ll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall

I’m still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

Say something, I’m giving up on you

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

Anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You’re the one that I love

And I’m saying goodbye

Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you

And anywhere, I would have followed you

Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something

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