Minion Monday – Lies
Zach lied. Not the little lies of omission most kids start with, a full blown calculated lie.
Every morning as one of his chores he is required to make his bed. He pulls up the blankets makes sure all the pillows are on the bed. It isn’t too hard and makes bed time easier.Recently I have been asking him to do it on his own, instead of going up and doing it with him, I am trying to slowly advance him to bigger more difficult chores. So Sunday when I asked him if he made his bed the 1st time he said no and went up, he came back a very short time later and I asked “Did you make your bed?” he said “No” so I sent him back again. He took longer this time so when he came back I asked the question again and he said “Yes.” I asked “Are you SURE.” He said “Made bed”. So I assumed it was done. Then as I was going to tuck him in that night he said “Oops, wait” then dropped a blanket in my path and rain ahead, I rushed after him and he was trying to make his bed.
This is a first. I have often gotten the response “Nothing” along with a sheepish grin, when he was doing things he knew he shouldn’t but never has he not only lied verbally, but then tried to cover it up. At first I was angry! I mean, how dare he lie to me! Then I was sad because that means he now knows how to lie. After he and I talked about how bad it was, and I yelled, until he said “No more yelling” then I sat on his bed. (Don’t worry he hates yelling so it wasn’t much yelling). At that point I told him he had a choice he could lose his tv for the night (he uses it for light and has the sound off every night) or he could lose the computer time the next day. Until this, I don’t think he really understood what he did was wrong. However, with punishment he finally realized what he did was wrong. Then he got it, you could see it click. He was upset and I broke down and cried. I don’t cry a lot so this kinda freaked him out a little. He hugged me and comforted me and finally said “Sorry”. I explained when he lies he loses my trust, and while one day without tv or computer might be sad for him, me not trusting him was way worse because it means I wouldn’t trust him to do things on his own. I was truly heartbroken. He lied!!
After I went to bed, I talked about it to my husband, he was visibly joyful. Yes, you read that right he was HAPPY. I was a little put off at first but the more I thought about the I was happy too. In the last few years we have gone from a child who can’t communicate at all. To one that has a few words but you are not sure he really understands, now he can calculate a lie to get out of something he doesn’t want to do. He can understand and use words well enough to manipulate me. Most of all he and I had a conversation, with responses I am positive he understood. This is HUGE!!
The next morning, he made his bed without a fight, I went to check before heading downstairs to the “titchen room”* where he wanted me to be. He came with me, ran ahead sat on his made bed and had a big smile on his face. So did I.
*titchen is his way of saying Kitchen, he has trouble with K sounds. (you can imagine what kitties sounds like…;)
Hope your life brings you such huge strides this week! Now go take on your Monday!