Minion Monday – I may always tie his shoelaces.

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I may always tie his shoelaces, and that’s okay. I might always have to cook for him, to remind him not to walk into traffic, to help him read the harder words, remember to shower, brush his teeth, even tuck him into bed.

All of the things we expect our kids to grow and learn are not a given when you have a child with a disability. Sometimes those things just don’t happen. Some days it sucks, it is hard, you want them to grow, learn, do the things their siblings and peers do. You want that rebellion, the “I can do it myself!”. You want them to grow and learn and be like you dreamed they would. It doesn’t happen. they miss the milestones, the achievements, you have a couple of choices, you can fight it, live with it or find a happy between.

 

You learn to adjust your dreams for him, and you grow as a person, as a parent and most of all you learn even if you always have to tie his laces that he is still an amazing gift in your life. He teaches you things you never thought possible. The milestones might be harder, but most of them come, they become more than a passing note in a baby book. They become causes for celebration, cheers from the rooftops, calls to grandparents, family, friends, teachers and blog posts. His words didn’t come and the day you get “I love you” for the 1st time and know it isn’t scripting, you cry for half an hour and hug him until he squirms to get free. Then you grab a pillow and cry a little more. When he finally tells you no, you want to be mad but he told you what he wanted, he shared a feeling and you let him off because “He told me what he wanted!!!!”
Potty training happens, not at 2, or 3 or even 5, but it happens. He finally stops crying when you brush his teeth, or hair. You learn what he needs, what he likes, sometimes with words, sometimes with actions but often through intuition. You learn and grow when he is slow to grow. You find strength to make it through one more sleepless night, yet another therapy, doctors appointment and one more meltdown. Each time you think I can’t do this anymore, you somehow find a way to do it all again, often in his smile, laugh or hug. Some days are long, so very very long. Then there are days where he blossoms, and you get new words, new foods and he seems to be a different child. You hold onto those days for dear life because they are what you remember when he is up for the 3rd night in a row in tears and you don’t know why. Sometimes he regresses, and you feel shattered and lost, but then he will hug and kiss your tears away, tell you not to cry.  You will still have nights where those dreams you had, before you knew something was wrong, come back to taunt you. Then you think about how very far he has come, and you have come. Eventually, you remember that dreams may change but he is still your baby, and he is a gift, even if you still have to tie his laces.

 

Each time you think I can’t do this anymore, you somehow find a way to do it all again, often in his smile, laugh or hug. Some days are long, so very very long. Then there are days where he blossoms, and you get new words, new foods and he seems to be a different child. You hold onto those days for dear life because they are what you remember when he is up for the 3rd night in a row in tears and you don’t know why. Sometimes he regresses, and you feel shattered and lost, but then he will hug and kiss your tears away, tell you not to cry.  You will still have nights where those dreams you had, before you knew something was wrong, come back to taunt you. Then you think about how very far he has come, and you have come. Eventually, you remember that dreams may change but he is still your baby, and he is a gift, even if you still have to tie his laces.

This week’s comic –

A web comic from HardlyBored.com

A web comic from HardlyBored.com

 

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4 comments for “Minion Monday – I may always tie his shoelaces.

  1. helen
    January 19, 2016 at 4:43 AM

    That was beautiful my dear friend!
    I felt your emotion, your fears and love and hope all in one. You’re a great mom and your son is lucky to have you!
    All my love,

    Helen xx

    • Hardly Bored
      January 19, 2016 at 9:15 AM

      You are too sweet Helen. I think I am the lucky one, not just because I have him but because I have friends like you too!

  2. February 10, 2016 at 11:03 AM

    What a great post. Big hugs to you both. KC

    • Hardly Bored
      February 11, 2016 at 9:46 AM

      Thank you!

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