I started today wanting to write something that you would read and think, what great advice. Then I opened up the window I write in, and this came out. It has nothing to do with anything really, not autism, not cooking, it isn’t even funny, but it is me.
So, away we go!
Minion Monday – I have no idea what I am doing.
I have no idea what I am doing.
Every day I get up, get the kids moving, feed them, talk to them, teach them the best I can.
I wonder, am I doing it right? Will they grow up to be good people? Will they be able to support themselves? Somedays I wonder if they will kill each other, much less talk as adults. I worry that they won’t want to help each other when one of them needs it the most.
I have no idea, maybe, maybe I will fail, or maybe what we have done will help build the relationships, and lives I think they deserve. Who knows?
I wish I could say this is the only part of my life I question. It isn’t, I question everything, my business, my interactions with the world. When I cook, did I overcook this? Add enough spice?
The ever present “What did I forget today?”
All the time there is a little voice, questioning the things I do, and the ones I don’t. Most of the time I ignore it, but sometimes it’s hard. When this happens I take a breath and remember all the wonderful things that have already happened, all the things that came out okay, every day. Then. I close my eyes, take another breath, and get ready for the next moment.
It doesn’t matter if it is a meltdown or monumental hug. In 10 years (heck in 10 days! ) I won’t remember if I burned dinner or let the laundry run one more time. The things I will remember are the laughs, the hugs, the new words. The I love you, and the giggle over silly shows. Sure, I will remember when my kids argued but I will also remember when they played.
I tell my kids, “What matters is we try. Sure we will fail here and there, and sometimes we don’t, sometimes things come together as planned, and that’s okay.” Kids laugh, hugs happen. Cuddles now and then, sometimes you feel like you can fly. Even if you have no idea what you are doing. Just don’t give up. Just keep trying.
Comic for the week – Beep
We had company in town this week, Zach did something um interesting… hehe!