Minion Monday – He doesn’t
Today someone asked me if Zach visits Santa, my response was actually kinda snarky. I said “he barely does presents”, this earned the ever present and dreaded “I am sorry” response.
I have a confession. I HATE that response. I am not sorry, in fact, I am never sorry for my son. Not for all the stims, the loud noises, not for the running, or even the meltdowns. Not when he is hurting and can’t tell me even though that makes me nuts. Not even a little. I am not sorry and I don’t want him or anyone else to be sorry or feel sorry for him. He doesn’t want your pity he wants love, warmth, unlimited internet and to play. I hate that people feel the need to say I am sorry for my son or to feel sorry for him, or for me. I am the luckiest mom ever, I have been blessed to have him, to have all my kids even when they stand and fight, even when they say I hate you. Even when I get woken up night after night even when I got kicked, hit, bit, head banged. Never do I want your pity, because I have all the love in the world with each and every one of my kids.
Yes, my Zach is different and he doesn’t do things other kids do. I could sit here all day and list the missed milestones, the words he can’t say, the things he isn’t ready yet to do. Instead, I decided long ago to focus on the positives that make him, him. Even if for a moment now and then I wish he was like every other kid I know in my heart he is wonderful and I wouldn’t change him for anything.
No, we don’t visit Santa, so no long lines full of grumpy bored kids whose parents are ignoring them while their faces are glued to their phones. No need to pay $10 for a picture that will get lost 30 minutes after it is taken not to be seen for years. No long lists to Santa, he does ask for things if he wants them but the latest greatest toy that is in all the commercials he doesn’t care about, not even a little. He doesn’t need it, I don’t have to hunt for it when it is sold out everywhere. Everything I give him is loved for at least 5 minutes, after that all bets are off. He doesn’t get up 40 times the night before Christmas wanting to know if it is time to open gifts, he blissfully sleeps like he does every other night (well, most other nights). He doesn’t feel slighted because he got 5 things and his brothers got 6. He even loves getting clothes!
This is not limited to the holidays. There are other things that make Zach, Zach. He always, always has a smile, even when he feels bad, even when he is mad, frustrated or just having a bad day. His speech teacher even remarked on it. He has no boundaries, yes you might be a stranger, but that will not stop him from walking up and taking your hand, especially if he thinks you look sad. He always knows when you are sad too, if I am having a bad day he sits closer, pats my back, he is quieter. He doesn’t have the ability to ask why so he just does the things I have always done to comfort him when I couldn’t ask him why. It took him until he was 12 to talk back. He might only eat 5 foods, but he never complains about that. He never tells me “I’m Bored”. Really there are a million things he can’t do, but there are a million and one things he can. He is happy, filled with love. While he might not ever want to visit Santa, he will always be happy, and if you ask me, that is a million times more important.
On the plus side the hobbits might be taking over the backyard.