Minion Monday -Fighting
There are many ways to approach autism.
You could fight it tooth and nail, throw therapy after therapy, at it.
You could try every diet, every medication,and every treatment.
You could just accept it and say, “This is who my kid is.”
You could spend all day placing blame, trying to find a cause etc.
You can do a little of each or something completely different.
It might help, it might not.
What really matters is that you do what works for you.
Whatever that might be!
We have done a little of each of these (except the blaming thing; I do that one a lot, usually placing blame squarely on my own shoulders.)
Some of it helped, some didn’t.
When I went gluten free, I took Zach gluten free too (that was a huge fight btw) and didn’t work at all for him,
but was amazing for me!
I tried lots of things to help him, not to change him, but to make his life easier and better.
Somethings work some things don’t.
What works for us might or might not help you.
The reverse is also true.
I have realized that no matter what the cause, no matter what I might or might not have done while pregnant or after his birth, my son has autism.
I can’t cure it; nor do I want to.
I embrace it, I love him for who he is, he is a beautiful soul.
Different is what makes the world worth being in.
He makes my world amazing!
You may see me in a store fighting a 10 year old to get off the floor, or in a restaurant pointedly ignoring the fact that he is under the table (again). Maybe even see him running through a store and me not chasing after him.
You are welcome to think “What a horrible mom.”
I have learned what I can fight and what I can’t.
That moment of my life is just that a moment, not the whole story.
Try and remember the glimpse of my day you have;
that you are seeing into my world.
Think of it this way, our lives are a big long book, you have read but a a few sentences in the book.
You might think you understand, or that I am a bad parent, hell, maybe I am a bad parent, however you will never live my life.
Keep in mind, I know you will judge me.
I simply no longer care.
Each and every day I hear another story of some mom or day who has had a battle with someone over this very thing.
Many people waste time and energy fighting things they can not change, telling others how to live or what to do.
I don’t have enough time or energy.
( I don’t have enough spoons for that)
Just as I don’t live your life, you don’t live mine.
I have found myself in a store or restaurant and seen other parents dealing with the same things, I try hard to smile, and let them know not everyone is out there judging them negatively.
If I can I offer to help, but I try never to judge. I know I see but a infinitesimal portion of their day much less their life.
While I can relate to them, I can’t ever completely understand.
No matter how hard I try.
When I see someone online venting, or trying hard to just make it another day I attempt to reach out and say I get it, talk to them and maybe even make them smile.
I do all of these things because that is the person I want to be.
Each and every act is a conscious decision.
Each time I ask myself what would I want someone to do if I was in their place.
So next time you think about judging, or fighting or even shaming someone online or in person, please, take a moment and think. Before hitting that button or blurting out those words.
Ask your self, “Would I want someone to say to me?”
Maybe even, “What do I want to put out in the world?”
We don’t fight my sons autism, I do wish he didn’t have to work so hard at things that come naturally to most of the world, but we don’t fight it, we work with it, we help him grow so he doesn’t have to work so hard next time.
We choose our battles, fight only the fights that make our world better and most of all we put into the world what we want back from the world, love, acceptance and chocolate.. okay maybe I don’t share my chocolate.. I have to draw the line somewhere.
“Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting, my friend” – The Beatles