I heard this song before I saw the movie. When I did I felt it from a parent’s perspective. When it came out my kids were still rather small, yet they seemed to be growing way too fast. I felt like I would close my eyes for a moment and they would grow up. I heard a dad singing it to his child, realizing that as our kids grow we blink and miss things, that they grow up too fast.
As much as I wanted them to grow, I also wanted them to stay small just a little bit longer. The time came too fast that they grew up and no longer wanted to cuddle mom. Some days I miss those cuddles. To me it will always be a song from a parent to their child.
As Zach has grown he has taught me one very important lesson, to slow down. With my other kids, the time seemed to both drag and fly. I know that sounds strange but it is true too. When they were little I couldn’t wait for them to hit those milestones, the first word, the first time they talked, every little milestone. I was thrilled to watch them grow, thrive and become independent humans. However, as they grew I realized they grew so fast. They didn’t want cuddle time with mom in the morning, they wanted to get up and play games, or spend time with their friends.
I wanted them to grow but I still missed the little guys who cuddled, who shadowed me and did everything I did (well they tried to, hehe)
With Zach it was different, we had some milestones on time, and others came and then were lost to regression. While Zach never cuddled, he did walk, talk, and take over feeding himself on time. Then a regression hit and we lost talking and feeding. He is my youngest, my last child. With him I got to live them again, the second time had even more meaning.
It took him longer to do other things. While the others were all potty trained by 4, with Zach it took until he was 8. Regression took away his words more than once, I learned to appreciate how very special words are, how magical it is to hear you child curse. Yes, even curse words are wonderful when your child has lost his voice so many times. While it has been several years since he regressed I still worry about it. I do realize though that Zach has taught me to slow down. To not push so hard. He has shown me that those milestones still come, but with him I get to live the process for just a little longer. He has shown me how important patience can be, and made me realize how much joy there is in those things.
In waiting for the milestones I realize that he has given me time to see the joy in other things. Things I never noticed when the other kids were little. With the other kids I never thought to be thankful that my kids COULD nag me to get them a toy or game, to see that feeding themselves or hating something I made them to eat was just another form of growing and learning. I realized how amazing it is that they talk back, that when they do they are asserting who they are; how using a word, any word, in context (including curse words), should be celebrated. His mind has taken more time to connect with the world around him and watching him process the world has been amazing. With him he has shown me how I don’t really have to “miss a thing” he slowed down giving me time to celebrate each and every one. My life is much richer because of it. My only regret was not realizing how important these things were with my other kids. I am glad though that I have learned to slow down and enjoy the little things, to find joy in things I never took the time to see and to find joy in every day. I am glad he, and his autism, has allowed me to see the things I closed my eyes and missed.
This weeks comics –