Minion Monday – All kids do that even kids with autism!
Often I will hear parents of nt* kids say to autism parents “all kids do that” and you know what, they are right, all kids do the things our kids do. Having raised 3 and a half kids before Zach brought autism into my life, I have a perspective on both sides.
Disclaimer – I know each kid is different and each autism child doubly so. This is from my respective and not intended to represent anything other that what I have been through.
Nt spend nights getting up 10 times a night, sometimes this last for a few months. Autism parents this lasts for years, sometimes they even end up with medication so both parents and kids can sleep. (Love my Melatonin!)
Melatonin the only “thing” in my life I might grab from a burning building, other than my family.
While nt parents spend weeks and sometimes months potty training. Autism parents often have grown children still in diapers, personally we finally finished potty training when my son was 8.
Sure all kids are picky eaters, but would when your kid eats one or two foods, certain brands only for months at a time. Worse yet they will refuse all other foods to the point of hospitalization, and forced feeding if you can’t find the one or two things they will eat. Forget healthy foods, autism parents are often glad their kid ate today.
All parents want their child to talk, and when they do we often ask, “Now how do we get them to shut up”
As an autism parent. When my child said “I love you” for the 1st time I called friends and family, I wrote it on Facebook and couldn’t wait to tell his speech teacher. Each and every word is an achievement.
It is a triumph when any kid plays a game with other kids or even learns to share their toys for the 1st time. When an autistic parent has a billboard printed because the doctors and therapist said this would never happen.
As an nt parent talking to your kid to find the reason they are upset is usually pretty easy, while it can a pain to get to the real reason, it happens eventually. When your child has either no vocabulary or a limited one, using every trick you can think of still often doesn’t lead to an answer.
You know the terrible twos? Oh, you know that time when your child just learns to talk and talk back.. Well often autism parents revel in that time even when it happens at the ripe old age of 10, because not only is your kid TALKING but he (or she) is telling you what they want!Then there are the things that autistic kids do that nt kids do too, however when you are able to communicate with your child you can stop them pretty quickly.
Sure all kids obsess over a certain thing, be it a game, a tv show, a book, movie, animal ect.. but usually these things are short lived and even if they do last a while they are often forgotten in a couple of weeks or months, however with an autistic child it is not even slightly odd for the obsessions to last years and years and to return over and over again just when you think they are past that.
There are many ways where we are the same too, we want our kids to succeed, we want them to have friends, and we want to take away their pain when they cry. We all want to make their bad days go away and for them to the best they can be.
It is said, each child learns in their own time and well, each parent learns in their own time too. I would love to say I became a better parent with each child, however that isn’t really true. What happened was I learned..
I learned that I knew nothing. That I will never really know anything and that everything I thought I knew was wrong.
I learned that the only true thing to expect is that something will go wrong at some point.
Most of all I learned what every other parent learns eventually, love is the most important thing you can give your kids.
Not long ago I saw a video
of the different types of moms, you probably saw it too, the breast feeders vs bottles, the working moms vs the stay at home ect. The point of the whole thing was simple, no matter what way we raise our kids, no matter the method or challenges, we are all in it for the love of our children. (and maybe the the toys because you don’t look odd going in to buy the Groot
action figure for your sweet little angel, even of that toy goes up in your office and said angel is never let near it.)
*nt refers to people who are neurotypical; nt parents are parents of kids who are not on the autism spectrum.