I have written about my dad, my kids, myself. I don’t really talk about my Mom. I guess I feel like it will make her uncomfortable.
I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. So I don’t talk about her. However, lately I have been thinking about her more and more.
You see my mom and I have a lot in common.
She is even more talented than I am. She makes jewelry worthy of a jewelry store and thinks nothing of it, she just gives it away.
She sculpts and her creations you just want to run your hands over, the lines are amazing, you just want to reach out and touch them, they are beautiful and breathtaking and all she sees is the “flaws”. It isn’t what she intended so it is not good enough. She never says it but I see it, I heard the unspoken words because they are in my head too.
She sews, crochets, knits (I could never do this), anything she wants to make she just does. It may not come out as she intended but every single piece she has ever made was really amazing.
When my childhood neighbor was dying, she took one day a week to clean his home, help him do things around the house and even cook meals for him. I know several occasions he called her when he needed help or needed to go to the hospital. She was always there, even when his own kids were too far to help she was there.
She has given my brother and myself everything she could to make our lives easier and happier, even though it meant things like she couldn’t continue her classes because she worked so hard to support us.
When I wanted to try weighted blankets with Zach? She made one. She researched how, got the right weight, searched for the washable pellets it is even covered it in minions!!
She now bravely lives alone in my grandmothers house, where she lived with my dad who died not so long ago. She has never lived alone in her life and she is brave enough to do so now.
She even fought the government to get the benefits she was promised when my father died from complications caused by his time in the air force and WON.
I know I am not the best daughter, I don’t call her enough. Yet every-time we do talk or get together she never scolds me or points out my faults. She is just there and happy to be there.
She has always accepted me, and my kids exactly the way we are, never telling me, you should do this or that, or your kids need to improve this or do that. She has always made me feel accepted and loved. She is also the 1st person outside of the ones we live with that Zach hugged without being prompted.
When she found out how bad my 1st marriage was she was there to hold me, and tell me that I didn’t deserve what he had done, even when I believed it with all my heart. She gave me the strength to leave and even a home to bring my son to while we built a life.
I have given her a lot of crap over the years, and yet she still loves me unconditionally and with such beauty and grace I know I will never be able to match. I have never been and never will be one of those people who say “I have turned into my mother” with disdain, because to be as wonderful, strong and amazing as my mom, would be a gift.
I love you Mom. You are beautiful, talented, amazing and strong. I am truly blessed to be your daughter. Thank you for being you.
Oh and she never cursed me with the “I hope your kids are just like you curse” though I am very sure she thought it.
This originally appeared on The Original Bunker Punks