I have a guest post from “Mike” I met him through my page on Facebook and we have become very good friends. While talking to him about life the universe and everything I found out the reason he follows my page is because his brother has Aspergers. I also learned Mike adores his brother and always has. They are university students in the UK, and this year is L’s 1st time away from home, but he is lucky to have Mike there to show him to guide him. They share a flat with a couple of other students, and everyone has their own rooms (unlike a dorm where people generally share). Anyway here is his story.
Oh, one more thing, the names have been changed to protect the privacy of all parties concerned the author is choosing “Mike” and he refers to his brother as “L” but you probably already guessed that 😉
Not just brothers also partners in crime.
Now that my brother is older, I have a different view on what having a sibling with autism means. When I was younger, I guess, it was less noticeable, sure he would keep everything really tidy and obsessed about certain tv shows, movies and he scripted a lot. But when I was a kid, I thought it wasn’t normal and I didn’t mind (cause neither was I really), then when I turned into a teenager and it became more noticeable, as much as I regret it now, I kind of felt forgotten and wished he could be normal… That was because I couldn’t understand the condition and it was never explained to me.
Now I am in my early 20’s and he is in his late teens, the way his Aspergers presents itself is more complicated for me to come to terms with (especially since he is living with me while he is at college and it is his first time away from home, I am technically his next of kin). So when things such as, him not being able to sleep, or struggling with college due to people in class being boisterous or even something as simple as leaving the house quickly becomes a problem; I wonder would I change the condition if I have a choice, and the answer is I wouldn’t, because then he wouldn’t be my brother.
I wouldn’t have the good parts of the Aspergers, the funny, amazing, clever person that is L. Even when there are struggles, I try to fix them with him by creating a routine or meeting with his tutors to help him catch up with work at home. It has taught me how to compromise and how to deal with all the things my parents would have last year and the year before, I wish I knew how to stop him shutting down and keep him talking to me about his problems in college. I wish I knew how to stop him from overthinking everything and anything and stop him staying up all night worrying, but I guess that will come in time. I guess before he came to college, I was used to living alone as I had been alone for two years. I enjoyed the freedom of not having to worry as much because he wasn’t that nearby. However, I also felt lonely because I missed my partner in crime. Now that he’s here (and yes, it was partly my idea), I love having him here, even with the added stress that comes with living with someone with Aspergers. I love that we can go to concerts together or to the movies or even eat together, I don’t think I would change it for the world.
Oh this past week was Zach’s Dad’s Birthday. If you have been following a while then you know for my birthday Zach sang to me (a 1st). Well he decided he didn’t want to sing for Dad. Poor Dad handled it well, So did his brothers.