It is Minion Monday once again, today you a dose of acceptance.
First I want to tell you a story. This is the sweet little autistic child who has an aversion to doctors. It is actually pretty awful. If you are In a white coat your are a monster. No amount of sweet wonderful doctors can change this little girls feeling.
Being autistic this white coat sends the otherwise amazing sweet little girl into a meltdown. A climb the walls, scream like you are being murdered meltdown.
No social story fixes this. There is nothing that works to prevent it but removing the little white coat. The same doctor who set off this child’s meltdown can leave the room allow her mom to calm her down and come back sans little white coat and the girl will be a wonderful girl again.
Her mom didn’t find what was causing the problem right away, it took a few nightmare doctor visits, and watching the same reaction happen when she saw a doctor in a boor or on tv.
Her daughter just couldn’t say what was wrong. So mom like a typical autistic parent had to “piece” things together.
This story is not unique, most autistic kids have one or two things that they just can’t handle. Sometimes it is a little white coat, sometimes it is a sound, smell, feeling or other thing we may or may not figure out.
All parents have their battles, getting a little one to sleep through the night, potty training, teaching them to eat healthy foods, even getting them to do their homework!
When you meet the parent of an autistic child, remember this.
We have have to be detectives to figure out what is causing this or that behavior.
We have to be chef’s who can discover ways to hide veggies in a diet that consists of 5 or 6 brown foods.
We have to be scholars to understand the million acrynoms that come with autism.
We have to be doctors to understand the many different therapies that we need to go through to help our kids find their voice and place in the world.
We have to be prepared to drop everything when they are having a bad night, even if it means that reservation we made 6 months ago for our anniversary gets canceled.
We have to learn to operate on basically no sleep for days or weeks on end.
We have to be part bodyguard and part athlete to keep them safe until they can finally figure out how to do it on their own. Until they are 10 or even older instead of age the normal 4 or 5. Basics like not to walk in front of a moving car or not to stick your hand on the stove.
We do it all with the nagging guilt in the back of our heads asking, have we done enough, did we cause this, and what will happen of we die?
Next time you see a parent dealing with an unruly child, take a breath, step back and ask yourself before you judge. Do you know what they are going through? Because, just as much as we want you to accept our kids, we want to be accepted too.